ASP Exit Strategy

One of the most famous queens in history ended a string of “Merger and Acquisition” deals by using the asp. Her name was Cleopatra. She was of Greek heritage and as a teenager married her brother (old dynastic custom). However, bickering over whom ‘mom liked best’ led to civil war in Egyptian. At a nearby asset heavy monopoly, Julius Caesar decided to seize the political opportunity and take over Egypt. But the due-diligence of his astute investment bankers was disrupted by Cleo’s eyelash ploy. 

Having over payed or not, he was receiving personal benefits that made it work to his advantage—until he felt a stabbing sensation in the forum (I mean the back). Filling the BOD power vacuum were three upwardly mobile directors. One named Mark Antony, also quickly fell victim to Cleopatra’s classic eyelash operation. Again it worked for a while until the other two guys Lepidus and Octavian, realized even a well-run deal machine can be thrown off kilter by emotion and figured Queenie had too much influence over Marky. 

Then on this day, September 2nd in 31 B.C., a game-changing analyst report hit. Mr. Antony had lost the naval Battle at Actium. Cleo who assumed she could fix a fundamental business problem with a management change, new Octavian was the new deal maker on the block and she should make him an offer. But what to do about the ousted Mark Antony? 

Cleo decided to send a text to Mark saying, ‘Market and cultural landscapes have shifted and I’ve taken the poison pill. Advise you do same if you really love me.’ Mark Antony being a naïve junior partner when it came to girls, complied. Cleo soon sent another message to Octavian saying ‘boyfriend’s gone you’re in!’ 

Octavian being less interested in finer female things said, ‘not a chance baby because you will be marched through the Walled Streets of Rome as my ROI disaster.’ Knowing her gig was up, Cleo performed the above mentioned unassisted suicide by pressing an asp to her bosom, ending her illustrious career.

Business take away: It’s always critical to cover your own asp.